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Dear Dr,
I am a 35 year old married woman. Married to the same man since
1994. Our sex life has become stale. We get so bored with routine sex. We've
tried toys, new positions, you name it, we've done it. We've tried to be creative by
trying to have sex in different places, but nothing seems to work! Sex isn't fun
anymore. Both of us know this. I want to have fun, I simply want to find someone else... but I love him...
and he loves me... but I am frustrated and shy as I am I feel that day to cheat is very close.
Ultimately I do not wish to be a cheater, I want to bring the spark back into
our bedroom... so I thought, I should ask you.
Your advice would be much appreciated.
Thanks in advance, Anna K.
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Thanks for the email Anna. I love to hear from our female
readers. It makes me feel like we are providing a
service for everyone. Well, you are not alone with your
problem.
Once the honeymoon's over and you settle into the everyday
life, it's easy to get bored. For many people burdened
by the demands of career, family, mortgage, sex is the last thing on their
what to do list. However along with food and shelter, we
need sex. Some of us need more some others less, in recipes ranging from simple to spicy.
As you wrote it creativity is very important. Creativity isn't just for artists.
We all have a creative side to us; creativity is the key to great sex. You need
to keep it flowing so that she never knows what to expect. Sometimes in life not
knowing what is going to happen is great. We don't like going to a restaurant
and ordering a steak and it end up being a fillet o rat. Variety is the spice of
life. Without it, our lives really get old fast. |
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I mean, you have to have some changes in life to keep you on your toes. I have
known people who do the same exact job their entire lives, but I can't see how
they do it. I mean, after about two hours of something I get sick of it.
The same is true in bed. If you always go through the same motions, you won't
keep your partner interested. If the routine is, kissing him, he is going down
on you and penetration, you are in a rut. He might like this, but some variety
will wake him up too.
Not everything in life needs to be cut and dry. This is true in the bedroom. If
you guys don't spend time thinking harder of new ways to make love, sex will get
to be too much of a
routine activity. Every older couple knows what happens then. Either you think
don't turn him on anymore, or you'll think about cheat on him.
Here are some easy steps to help you spark some creativity in your bedroom
playtime.
Food in bed. Remember as a kid you were told not to eat in bed? Now that you are
an adult, you can without the guilt. Use foods that are sweet and that you can
smear on each other. Stay way from spicy or salty food. You don't want to get
that stuff around your privates.
Change your love making positions. This is an easy way to spice up your sex life. If you
normally do it one way, switch to another way. Switch roles, you go on top of
him. This will also give both of you a chance to explore what feels good for
each of you.
Talk dirty. Pretend that both of you are enjoying phone sex with each other.
Tell each other what you would do to each other while you masturbate. Not only
this is a big turn on, but he can watch you while you bring yourself to orgasm.
What is more fun than that?
Sex toys. These a really fun. Be a kid again. Get some toys that both of you can
use on each other. Explore, and enjoy each others new found sensual areas.
Porn. Oh yeah, every healthy man loves porn. This can add some spice into your
sex life. Don't do it too much, he might think you are looking for a porn star
like man. I would suggest that you get a movie with a plot. You will enjoy the
sex, he will enjoy the movie.
Swinging. If your marriage and love strong enough let's get kinky. Not only batters
swing. Hey, why not try it? You can just have sex, while an other couple is in the
same room. A couple who you like. If you are feeling on the edge, you can play
erotic games together with them. If two couples start to play erotic games it's
usually ends up in great sex.
Threesome.
Three is company. Why not have a three way? Do you have a buddy that would like
to do you? His old lady with your hubby in the same room? Is he curious about
having sex with another woman? Actually you don't have to do each other,
you can watch each other. It can be a great turn on and a great amount of fun.
Why not see where it goes.
Costumes can be a great way to add something different. You can role play in
your costume. He can be super man while you are little red riding hood.
Sex doesn't have to be boring. I know that some think that if you have sex with
the same person for years, it will get boring. It will only get boring if you
allow it to. Happy banging. I hope it helped a little.
Related Articles:
Better sex bigger
orgasm
Sex, orgasm, early ejaculation and threesome
Greetings,
Peter
Dear Mister,
My wife and I had our first male - female - male threesome. It was great for
her, but wasn't that great for me. Unfortunately I could not keep up with the
other guy, I could not keep it hard as long as he did. 
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